Monday, June 27
i survived gp. barely. this here utterly brainless
twat chose, as usual, a hard question. WHY GOD WHY?? i mean,
how does a rational human being go about answering: discuss [or was it define? shit] the role of traditional beliefs in modern society. ahh. i always end up writing about modern society because i disapprove of it. like, hello technology, goodbye true affection. and i am such a
hypocrite, i am typing out my disapproval. i should be shot. maybe i'll regress back to scratching random messages on stones with a stick. hang on, that's scientifically impossible. ah to hell with rational thinking. more like: hello obsession with quaint songs, goodbye sanity.
i just realised something. ever read rilla of ingleside? well you should. i cried [although i refused to admit it years ago] when walter died because
he was so hot. he was tall, dark and handsome, sensitive without being sissy, a
poet and everything i ever wanted in a guy. which is not a lot, really. just give me walter! pity about the name. hmm. anyway. i realised i use a lot of italics. hahhaha. sorry was that too random? because rilla's teacher scoffed and said something like ' i suppose i spoke in italics too when i was seventeen' yeah anyway i was wondering if italics come naturally with sweet seventeen. food for thought.
anyway, back to gp. sorry i digress a lot. more food for thought.
this is why i am not good at gp i am a very random person. so. i was minding my own business at the bus stop after the papers.. when who should come walking towards me but a person with a 2cm long pony tail! and the said person pointed to the space beside me and said, 'let's sit over there' and i
died. all right, gross exaggeration. i quickly turned my face and did my oh-shit-do-i-die-here? expression much to sumin's and huiying's amusement [ah shutup] and tried not to breathe too conspicuously.
i did not ask for her to sit next to me. and all of a sudden, i lost whatever little of the ability i ever had to speak intelligently in coherent english and became very affected by a sudden bout of gigglishness. arghhhhhhhh. WHY did that have to happen to me?? i do not like her. anymore. cos frankly eyecandy stops being eyecandy when the aforementioned eyecandy stops
being eyecandy. go figure. brain is still in incoherent mode. then she got on our bus. fine, i knew she would. shutup. my ultimate fantasy. -sigh- and it's all wasted because she doesn't look half as good anymore and sigh why why why okay fine i know why this is the sign i need.
i am going to be a nun.
no i'm kidding. parents have forbidden me to do that. i shall... become... vaguely unattracted to girls like her and vaguely attracted to.. myself? polar opposites. i'm starting to believe people like me are not fated to ever taste the sweetness of romance. if you dare to deny this fact, bring me a walter. check the above for requirements. betcha i won't fit his. yes i am being difficult on purpose. as sad and pathetic and lonely as my life gets sometimes, i will not give in. we've got a bet going, my dears. i will not lose it. sorry, 2 bets. i will lose neither. so. i will be the last out of the [erh. 8?] of us to get a bf.
none of you thought to mention gf. hahaha sorry not funny i shall shut up now.
ooh. just to make myself feel better: i finished reading the last booklet. like 15 mins ago. and realised i forgot all the previous stuff. arghh!! i shall read through it. again! maybe do tys if i have time. anddd i did a few questions of math! hooray for me!
janet: my chinese tutor saw the pictures on my wall/desk/all over my room. she said you're pretty!! and i said you're pretty and smart and she said heaven is normally not so unfair.
i agree. heh. and she was totally wowed by zhimin's beauty. why am i not surprised? think she was kinda shocked to actually see me smiling and looking so happy in those pictures. i pored over them again just now.. and i'm trying to remember what it's like to be wild and exhuberant and well -
smile at the damned camera cos i want to, and not cos you're forcing me to.
it must've been love.
11:10 pm
xoxo
